~ACHING~

I need something to tell me that the life i dream of does actually exsit

All I heat most of the time are things that..

things denying me the mere thought..

They write with bold big letters signs all over the place

telling me to wake up and stop dreaming

bt i keep ignoring them

They don't understand that without those dreams..

what kind of person would i be

I don't know how to surivive if ever my dreams were to be shattered in front of me

i just don't know how to survive that

i keep pleading my dreams so bad and fearing them so much at the same time

i want them

bt i don't know if it was my distiny to meet them

i don't know what is it that i would get

and i want to keep hoping

bt hoping and not knowing just gets so hard somethings

its keeps your heart in a peak not resting and fearing the fall

~ Lonely ~

No matter how many people there are around me

I can't drow away the feeling of lonleness shading my heart

~ It's You ! ~

(( I look into your eyes.. my breath is caught..

and just for a moment I forget how to breath..

all I saw was your eyes and I was lost in the depth of them..

That look.. that is the look I dreamed of for so long..

The look that made all words seem so lacking..

There is no words that can merely discribes this..

My mind goes blank..

A strange feeling rush from my heart and fell me with heat and pleasure..

the only words I can think of sleps through my lips in a low whisper..

.."It's you!"..

My heart is warmed up.. and my senses are awakened..

I feel safe.. and I feel that I'm Right Where I Belong for the first time in my life..

Beacause it's you.. because I'm here.. between your arms..

..just where I belong.. ))

.. Where is that person? ..
.. Well he ever be there? ..
.. well I ever find that peace? ..
.. do I deserve it? ..

Sometimes it gets so unbereable to wair
and not know

When you need something so bad
and you don't know if you'll ever get it
and you don't know if what you'd get in exchange would be the complete opposite
and shatter your soul and dreams
and you when you think of that
you don't know how could you survive

What you plead and dread at the same time

its just like a huge shadow that lies between you and everything you planned for your life
it could change you
and change the course that your life would take
for good or for bad

thinking about it sets you into a large endless votex


 

~ Thinking ~

Can someone really stop thinking

I doubt that is possible

even when you're exhausted of thinking

and you try to stop

you end up thinking of not thinking

and how bad you want to just relax

"There is no such thing as not thinking"

Cause once we stop thinking... We Stop Living...

~Looking into Your Eyes~

The world stops when I look into your eyes

there's nothing left of time or sound..

but the rhythm of our heard beats..

thudding together..

slowly and full with anticipation..

and then fast and rising with heat and excitement

No words need to be spoken

for silent words that couldn't be expressed by any language

were drifting through our eyes..

I look into the depth of your eyes

and see the tenderness of them almost taking shapes or poetry..

a poetry that is so gentle and pure..

like a silver-like stream

You hold my face in your palm..

so delicatley..

and  it seems like my soul has been touched by it's long lost mate..

finally after all the waiting and yearning..

it feels so worm and complete

Emotions rise in me until it my chest threats to burst

I'm so overwhelmed that I can't even speak

every heart beat comes out calling your name

and every cell in my body exclaims

gasping.."I love you"

And then everything just floats beyond words

~Frozen Back~

life is flowing by me so fast..

and i can't get a grip on it..

I feel so confused and lost..

like something isn't in it's place..

like a precious peice of my soul is lost..

Some other times I feel like I'm waiting for something..

Waiting for something to wakeme up..

to either slap me awake.. or take by my hand and pull me..

so I could follow the pace of life..

I do not know whether it was something or something..

but it feels so far that Which I plead..

and it feels so resltess to wait..

I wish this waiting would end soon..

I really wish that would happen..

That's how I loved you.. Before I even knew you

I keep wondering all the time..

Who are you? and what kind of person would you be? What would you look like?

I wonder how far would the day that I would stand beside you would be..?

When would I be able to look into your eyes and feel so complete..

When I would know that you're the one person that would always be there beside me..

when I could cast all my sorrows away.. and just lie there in your arms..

Then and there I would never feel lonely ever again..

How could I feel lonely if I had someone to belong to.. and to whom

he would belong to me too..

"Having you.. and loving you.. and being able to tell the whole world about it"

would be extreamly beyond words..

just thinking about it makes my heart threaten to burst or miss a beat..

from how far it's overwhelmed..